Do you ever just want to quit? Do a "Calgon take me away"? Well I am having one of those days and everything seems to be going wrong. I want to run away from it all (except my child). I live so far away from everyone that knows me and loves me that I am struggling to stay strong and "happy". I know my life is supposed to revolve around my little family but I need more in my life. And recently, I have found out that I am not making one of the two people that are in my life happy - which is heartbreaking for me because to me I give 150% of myself and give up on things I know I shouldn't.
I do really want to know where my backbone went and how other women get their husbands to move so they are closer to their families. Mine won't even let me go on vacation with my child to see mine. Ridiculous if you ask everyone - but I don't know how to say I am going and there is nothing you can do about it.
And then there is work...I think about not working, but I have never not worked and not sure how my mind would react - or my husband for that matter. I know taking care of a child is a big commitment and will take up my time, but will I be happy? A few months back I thought if I changed jobs - maybe that would make me happy - but honestly, it hasn't. Yes, I am learning new things but I am not excited for what I do. I know a very small percentage of people "love what they do" but I wanted to at least "like" working. My mind just goes back to the little boy that I dropped off this morning who didn't want to let go of me. Makes me wonder if I am doing the right thing with my life.
I know I am not the only one that goes through this on a daily basis, but today was just one of those really crushing days. I know I am lucky to have the life I have and I should be thankful - which I am - but I wish I had a little fire left.
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