Decisions

Just as I started to get a routine and some sleep, my husband and I had the conversation about having another child. I am in agreement with him that our son should have a sibling because when we are gone - who does he have? We are older so it won't be like how I grew up - I still have one of my grandmothers and I am 41. Our son will be lucky if his parents are both alive when he's 41.

Getting prepared to do it over again is a bit frightening. I did not mind being pregnant but I had it easy the first time. It was the breastfeeding and trying to work at the same time that was extremely hard on me. I already told my husband, this child will unfortunately not be breastfed as long as our first - that's the biggest thing I struggled with. And yes, you have to give up food during pregnancy but I found breastfeeding was 10x harder - my son was not happy with half of the things I would eat and so I think my diet was down to bread.

I am a bit afraid of being a stay at home mom as well, I was excited to take a year off next year but my husband said, if we have another - it will most likely be four years. Four years of not being in the work force is a long time - what would I go back and do? I am so afraid of how fast technology is changing that I would be so far out of the "know" that no one would want to hire a stay at home mom. And I have been used to being paid a pretty high salary - so going from that to $0 is scaring me.

I know that being older this time around will be a bit more difficult to get pregnant so I can't get all my ducks in a row thinking this is how it is going to be but I want to be prepared if it does happen. I may look to do 20 hours a week job after the first year just so I have some life - but the pay has to be more than I pay someone to watch my children...I guess I have over a year to figure it all out. I am just thankful that I can have this option in my life.